Strong boundaries are necessary for a leader to achieve their dreams. We all seek to find our purpose and to make an impact in others’ lives yet as a steward of our precious resource of time and talent we must learn how to develop the mindset that setting boundaries are not selfish but in fact are the cornerstone of being a great leader.
Whether or not you have sat down and formally developed your S.M.A.R.T. goals, you clearly know that your heart has a passion for certain missions and achievements in your life and career. Why is that we become so weighted with the activities that neither bring us joy nor help us achieve our goals? Often it is because we will not allow ourselves to become truly honest with our heart and be willing to take the steps necessary to claim that freedom.
This courageous step says that my mission is what I have been called to achieve. I am willing to be courageous enough to put it first above the fear of lost relationships, conflict or guilt. Developing healthy boundaries starts with coming face to face with this realization.
This transformation starts with what is known as a pruning process. Learning to say no to the good things will allow you to say YES to the actions and relationships that bring harmony and success to your life. Conduct an audit of all the things that you are doing in your life and ask yourself these questions:
1. Does saying yes to this activity help me achieve my goals?
2. Does saying yes to this person help me achieve my goals?
3. Does being engaged in this activity bring me contentment?
Once you identify the people and activities that you deem are not part of your “Yes to Success Campaign” it is time to thank them for their service and let them go.
Just like any new habit this will take some work to develop new mindsets and muscles.
• Pull out your calendar for the next 30 days and write the word NO in the slot. This gives you the permission to start practicing right away. Say aloud the word NO. Practice this daily. This action develops new neuropathways that help you normalize a healthy culture within yourself.
• Monitor your lies for the next 30 day. Are you making excuses for not attending an event or serving on a committee? These are telltale signs that you are not being true to your boundaries.
Consistent commitment to this goal will bring about astonishing results in your life. You will find that you will become more joyful, as the successful leader, respected by others that you truly wanted to be in the first place.