Life sometimes deals you blows you would rather avoid. When these events happen, look in the mirror and accept that life may be freeing you by bringing you an awareness of a lesson you need to learn. Life happens for you, not to you!
There are three things I have adopted that help me become aware of the lessons and grow. First, take a moment to privately lick your wounds, get mad if you need to. Second, take a moment to become aware of possible places where you have done exactly the same thing to others. Thirdly, decide to rise above and move forward taking the new lessons with you.
Authenticity with feelings when you have a failure is the best thing you can do to move forward. I was working with a client who was quite high maintenance. I spent extra time with him sometimes delaying calling other clients which caused me great stress. When I suddenly stopped receiving calls from him, I began to wonder what had happened. After calling and leaving messages repeatedly he finally returned my calls. He had found a for sale by owner and in the chaos of the moment had struck a deal on his own with a seller who only wanted to use his realtor. During the process he was lamenting in his mind because he “had no clue how to make it work and include me.” I was disappointed and angry focusing only on my loss. As he said, “he didn’t want to lose this house….and yet he wanted to do the right thing by me.” Out of honoring my authentic self, I allowed the anger and disappointment and then chose to move forward and do the right things. Certainly, the communication between us gave way to save the relationship.
So, what was the right thing. Always be gracious and professional. It may result in many other clients as referrals in the future. Review how you are communicating your value as their professional partner. Are you giving them options as to how to collaborate on a deal?
I realized during this process I had been stuck in focusing on my own needs and not the clients. How had I possibly left other clients worried, wondering, if I was going to help them. As agents we become overwhelmed by trying to be superhuman resulting in failure to be our best. This experience reminded me to be dedicated to set and communicate realistic expectations with my clients. It taught me to balance my service so that all my clients get my best. It taught me that it is not all about me. Being ever aware of lessons will make you the professional you desire to become.